I think i peed on brittanys purse
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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