Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
