Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
