remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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