Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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