Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
