I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
