Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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