I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
