i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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