i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
