But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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