I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
