She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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