I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
