You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize