Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
