I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
