you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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