Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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