i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
