i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
