yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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