Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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