ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
