he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
