Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What a dumb baby whore.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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