I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
