So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
