How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
