There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
