I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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