I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
