Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
