never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
