Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
soo... how was my night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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