she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
