sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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