Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
