I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
