I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
