Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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