I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
