We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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