"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize