Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
