Christians are straight up FREAKS
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
