drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
