Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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