Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
