I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
