I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize