Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
