i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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