woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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