That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize