Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
