Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Can I color on your dick again?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
