I didn't shave. On purpose
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
