The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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