Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
