Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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