in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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