So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think I died a long time ago.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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