It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
