at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
