She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
